Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Menses, Menses, Menses!


Do you know what gets old? Having to spend a significant fraction of time listening to discussions of penises, urinals, saliva, bowel movements, and dead baby jokes, while knowing that nearly every one of my male acquaintances will recoil with horror from even the most oblique reference to menstruation. (I say "nearly every" not because I have male friends who I know do not react this way, but rather because I have not systematically tested every one and therefore it is possible that exceptions exist.)

We need to get over this. Menstruation is way less gross than most of the stuff listed above. It's just blood and mucus. And, given that most women (and some men) between the ages of 13 and 50 spend something like 18% of their lives menstruating, it's kind of an important component of the human experience.

Some limitations should apply, of course. I don't plan on wandering around the office telling everyone the current details of my cycle. That definitely falls into the category of TMI. But! If my male colleagues can spend half an hour poring over and discussing a cell-phone pic one of them snapped of a horse with an erection, I should be able to discuss how menstruation should play a more prominent role in vampire fiction without giving everyone the vapors. (I mean, really, why hasn't True Blood, at least, gone there?)

I'm done biting my tongue. If I have an interesting menstruation-related thought, I shall share it, and the rest of the world can just deal with it.

9 comments:

  1. I've never understood this about dudes. It's played for laffs on dozens of sitcoms and TV commercials, especially the *indignity* of having to buy tampons for your lady, or whatever. It's a thing. It happens and then it's over. I don't know if you watch South Park ever, but they did a pretty funny episode, "Eat, Pray, Queef," about men finding their own farts just astonishingly hilarious while anything from the ladies was a subject of incomprehensible horror.

    ReplyDelete
  2. For the record, in Anne Rice's vampire chronicles, there are scenes between a vampire and a woman who was menstruating. (At least, I sure thought it was Anne Rice, but I'm having trouble googling it. I haven't read /that/ many vampire novels.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. My google fu tells me this is in Memnoch the Devil. Which I haven't read, but am buying RIGHT NOW.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, sure, *now* you read Anne Rice, years after learning about this. /bitter

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wait, did you tell me this and I somehow forgot? If so, you have my sincere apology, sir.

    Also, I totally read Anne Rice! I just thought the Vampire Chronicles had a hard time maintaining momentum after we found out everything there is to know about the history of vampirism in, like, Book 2.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It was a party at Ross and Kate's a while back. We were talking about vampires and Joss Whedon. You mentioned the lack of menses cunnilingus in pop culture vampirism was startling given the high number of human women in romantic pairings with male vampires.

    It's all good, though.

    ReplyDelete
  7. See, I remember that party, and mostly I remember people being horrified. I don't remember you being horrified, but I also don't remember you mentioning Anne Rice. Friend fail :(

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've also wondered why the whole realm of women menstruating and vampires hasn't come up in vampire stories. I've read then entire Sookie Stackhouse series (the books True Blood is based off of) and while some of the sex scenes can be pretty intense, they never once cross this line. It just doesn't make sense to me. BTW.. that's a really hot picture.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Could be that the editors made the author take that kind of thing out. Those books - which I loved - really don't back off the gross-out stuff most of the time.

    ReplyDelete