Top Chef: A Rant

I really love Bravo's Top Chef. I like food, art, and creativity in general, and I think it's one of the best-edited shows on television, thanks to Magical Elves. I am very much enjoying this All-Star season, which I think is beautifully cast, with one big, gross, glaring exception.

Mike Isabella makes me want to stab my eyes out with a meat thermometer.

[Blanket spoiler alert for seasons 6 and 8.]

Mike first appeared in Season 6, and set up my hatred nicely. In his very first episode, when he realized that he was tied in the relay Quick Fire with Jennifer Carroll, he said, "There is no way, no offense, that a girl should be at the same level" as him. I thought I was going to have an aneurysm right then and there. First: "Girl"? Really? Is she under 18? Would he refer to his buddy Michael Voltaggio as a "boy"? I don't think so. I trust I do not need to discuss how wretched it is that he takes it on faith that men are better chefs than women.

Now this charmer is on the All-Star season. I hope against hope every week that he will be eliminated. I don't recall ever hating a reality TV contestant the way I hate this guy. He's been displaying sexism (and racism) all season. For instance, when his buddy Angelo was in the bottom three with two women (Tiffany and Carla, who are both black, although I'm not sure that entered into his analysis), Mike was absolutely confident that Angelo was safe. But the joke was on him when Angelo was eliminated. No one was more shocked than Mike, despite Tom Colicchio's statement that Angelo's food was inedible. Mike even high-fived Angelo before the final decision was made, so sure was he that a penis-bearing individual would prevail over two vagina owners. A first time viewer of the show might not see sexism here, but having watched Mike for a season and a half now, I'm pretty sure he's still convinced that women should be losing to men on the regular. I am desperate for Carla or Antonia (or Tiffany, though I don't hold out much hope, as much as I love her) to win this season and show him.

Oh, also? He doesn't stop at women. He apparently doesn't like the gays, either. In episode 9 of this season, he sneers that he's never been to "one of those gay fondue parties." 1. Seriously, dude? Are we in fourth grade? And, more importantly, 2. You wish you were awesome enough to get invited to a gay fondue party. I think I shall host one soon. AND MIKE IS NOT INVITED.

Finally: Is Mike Isabella a racist? I don't know, but he's sure said some racist things. For instance, he refers to Dale, an Asian, as "a fucking monkey" when Dale criticized one of Mike's Quick Fire dishes. There is a long history of conceptualizing non-white people as animals. Even if Mike wasn't thinking to himself, "I need to come up with something racist to say about Dale right now," he certainly wasn't avoiding a racist stereotype. And not avoiding racist stereotypes or actions is just as bad as actively seeking them out, because it comes down to the same thing: perpetuating, or passively allowing, racism, instead of nipping it in the bud at every possible opportunity. If he had called Dale "a fucking jerk" I wouldn't be writing this paragraph and making Kyrie worry that we are going to have nothing but very long blog posts from me.

In conclusion: If you are saying a bunch of sexist, racist shit on TV, the editors of your chosen program are going to notice. Given that they chose to include these clips, especially the gay fondue party and the monkey stuff, I'm thinking maybe they hate Mike as much as I do. Magical Elves, call me!