Lori, aka Lmbr Timber Onu of Emerald Coast Roller Derby, was victim of a severe domestic violence attack on April 23, 2011. Lori is having surgery to repair broken eye sockets, nose and cheek bones. She faces a long recovery and mounting medical bills with no medical insurance. -- Lori Aid
1.5 million women are subjected to domestic violence each year in the United States. That is one out of every hundred women in the country. Women are subjected to domestic violence at three times the rate that men are; trans individuals at an even higher rate. Such a vast problem can be hard to conceptualize -- until it affects someone you know.
When it does affect someone you know, it is of paramount importance not to blame the victim. Many will ask why she didn't leave, as if it were that easy. In fact, abusers are most likely to kill their victims when they try to leave; not leaving can be a survival strategy. Some will wonder how she got involved with him to begin with, forgetting that sociopaths can be very charming at the beginning of a relationship.
To reduce the incidence of domestic violence (and other forms of abuse, and rape, and stalking), we need to address the perpetrators, not the victims. We need to figure out why so many abuse their partners, and turn that around. Fortunately, there are people trying to do just that; one example that springs to mind is the Good Men Project.
We also need to support victims, obviously. To help Lori with her completely unaffordable medical bills, visit the above site; a PayPal account has been set up for donations. If you can give, please do, and if you do not already support universal health care, consider how it can help people like Lori in the worst moments of their lives.
I'm the first as far back as our family tree goes in memory that has not been the victim of domestic abuse, of the physical variety at least. All the husbands/fathers were very charming to begin with, and still are away from home. They are all also alcoholics, and some are drug addicts. The only reason I think I've been able to break the cycle is because my mom, fearing for our lives, fled from my father, and I didn't grow up around it in my house every day. That may have been one of the best things she ever did for me, was risk it all to get us out of that situation.
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